Can You Salvage Your Relationship?
Every relationship has ups and downs, but it’s amazing how often it’s the little things that ultimately tear two people apart.
This doesn’t happen overnight. Relationships tend to slowly deteriorate over time.
Sometimes, decades into a marriage, a couple decides they can no longer stand to be together. This is a tragedy.
I believe that once you’ve devoted your life to someone, you should honor your vows and stay with that person, through the good times and bad, just as you promised.
Every relationship has bad months and years. Those couples who stick it out and realize that love is a choice, not a feeling, usually end up much closer after they’ve gone through the fire together.
Here are a few tips that can help you get through the rough times. They may also endear you to the person you’re with. A little self-control can have a major impact.
Tips That Can Make Your Relationship Last:
1. Choose your battles. You may not agree with your partner, but not everything has to turn into an argument. Unless it’s something that’s really important, you’re often better off just agreeing to disagree. After all, what the two of you couldn’t agree on today probably won’t matter tomorrow, so chose to just let it go.
2. Recognize that you aren’t always right. No one is always right, and it’s difficult to respect someone who believes they are. If you’re wrong or make a mistake, admit it. You’ll earn brownie points with your significant other, because it takes a big person to exhibit some humility.
3. Be willing to say you’re sorry….and mean it. Don’t be too proud to apologize if you’ve done something wrong or hurt your loved one in some way, even if it wasn’t intentional. They say we hurt the ones we love the most, and that tends to be true.
Emotional wounds are the slowest to heal, so if you’ve hurt someone, be man or woman enough to say you’re sorry. And don’t say it just to say it. If you don’t mean it, they’ll be able to tell.
4. Never argue in public. One of the worst things you can do is to embarrass or disrespect your partner in public, so don’t do it. If you don’t agree with something they’ve said or done, discuss it later when you’re alone.
5. Do not undermine your partner in front of your children. If your spouse or partner tells your kids no, do not turn around and tell them yes. The same holds true if one of you disciplines your child and the other rescinds the punishment. This teaches your kids to play you against each other.
It’s crucial to form a united front when dealing with your kids. If you don’t agree with your partner, go into another room, discuss the situation in private, and compromise on how to deal with it.
6. Keep your private lives private. Private things that occur between you and your significant other should stay exactly that….private. Your parents, neighbors, friends, and coworkers do NOT need to know the intimate details of your life. If your partner finds out you’re telling everyone everything that goes on in your relationship, it can quickly destroy their trust in you.
People need to feel safe in their romantic relationships, and it’s hard to feel safe when your partner is blabbing your private business to the entire town. Not to mention, if your partner has done something unpleasant and you tell your family, that can create animosity between them…..often over something that will pass. Long after you’ve forgiven them, your family may still resent them, which can put a terrible strain on the relationship.
7. Acknowledge your partner’s good qualities. Don’t just tell your significant other what you don’t like about them and what they’re doing wrong. Try everyday to compliment them on some quality you love or something that they’ve done. Building them up instead of tearing them down can do amazing things for a relationship.
8. Be quick to forgive. If your partner messes up (and they will, the same way you will), forgive them. Everyone makes mistakes. If they’re truly sorry, don’t hold a grudge and drag it out, especially over inconsequential things. You’ll appreciate the same response from them when you end up doing something stupid.
9. Don’t keep bringing up past wrongs. There are few things that are worse than a nag. If something’s over and done with, leave it behind you. It’s extremely difficult to remain committed to someone who constantly throws your past mistakes back in your face. Let the past stay in the past.
10. Never walk away or go to bed angry. If someone storms off after an argument, there’s no way to know if you’ll ever see that person alive again. Life is short and things happen unexpectedly. Could you really live with yourself if you had an argument over something stupid, your partner stormed out, and something happened to them? That would leave you with a lifetime of guilt and hurt.
The same goes for going to bed angry. At the very least, the situation will still be there, unresolved, in the morning. And worst case scenario, if you don’t wake up the next morning, you don’t get another chance to make things right. It’s a risk that’s really not worth taking.
If you follow these simple suggestions, you’re bound to see improvement in your relationship. Relationships work best when each partner is putting the other first. If you’re blessed enough to find someone who understands that, the battle is already half won.
Written By Melissa S. | Friend Melissa S. on Facebook | Join The Forum