As I arrived at work this morning, my attention turned to the Canadian goose standing guard just opposite the sidewalk.
I noticed him there a few days ago.
It was a deja vu moment….one that plays out the same each spring.
Watching him warmed my heart.
Guarding what belongs to him.
I don’t know much about geese. But I do know what treasure he’s so devotedly and fiercely protecting.
You see, Canadian geese mate for life.
Once the female builds a nest and lays eggs, the male goose will stay close by to protect the mother and eggs from anyone or anything that means them harm.
In fact, they are so devoted to their mate, that they will stay be the others’ side if it is sick, injured, or dying….even if it means being left behind by the rest of the flock.
As I watched the goose steadfastly keeping watch over his life mate, I realized that people could learn a great love lesson from these humble birds.
If we treated our spouses and partners with the same undying love, commitment and devotion that geese show their mates, I believe many people would see a transformation in their relationships.
Every relationship goes through hard times.
It’s those difficult times that actually strengthen the bond between two people, but there are things we can do to make those bumpy patches a little easier.
1. Be Your Partner’s Friend
Never underestimate the importance of being friends with your significant other.
Friendship is the foundation that will carry you through the difficult times.
That warm, fuzzy feeling of infatuation comes and goes, and it’s going to let you down and disappear when your relationship gets difficult.
If you have a strong friendship with your partner, you will stand a much better chance of working through the difficulties in your relationship and making it for the long haul.
Some of the best relationships grow out of friendships.
This really isn’t as hard as it sounds.
And it gets easier the more you do it.
If you know something’s important to your partner, do it.
Showing someone you love them can have a much bigger impact than just telling them.
Each of us needs to feel special and loved. There’s no better way to send that message than to put their needs above your wants.
3. Choose Your Battles
People will fight over the stupidest things just because they want to be right.
Much of the time, it’s over something completely unimportant, yet a couple will fight for days because they just can’t let the issue slide.
Sometimes we need to choose our battles, and allow the other person to have the last say, even if we know we’re right.
There’s nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree.
Love doesn’t need to be right.
You don’t have to agree on everything, and can, in fact, support your partner’s opinions and choices even if you don’t agree with them.
You have to learn to forgive and forget.
If your significant other has wronged you, and you say that you’ve forgiven them, let it rest.
Do not keep nagging and bringing up the subject, because that’s a sure-fire sign that you haven’t actually forgiven them.
All of us make mistakes. If you want others to forgive your mistakes, you have to also be willing to forgive theirs and leave them in the past where they belong.
You can’t move ahead if you keep looking behind you.
5. Breathing room is a good thing.
All of us need alone time every now and then.
If you don’t hear from your boyfriend or girlfriend for a day, don’t freak out.
I know people who get extremely upset if they don’t talk to their significant other everyday.
They begin to assume the worst.
It doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, don’t want to see you, or have someone else.
More than likely, it just means they need a day to themselves to do nothing except relax.
So do both of you a favor, and don’t overreact.
Instead, reconnect with your other friends. There’s nothing wrong with a girl’s or guy’s night out from time to time.
It’s good to have friendships outside of your relationship.
Without that, people begin to feel smothered.
6. Trust them!
The absolute fastest way to ruin a relationship is to be suspicious of everything your partner does.
If you feel the need to go through your man’s phone to check his call log and text messages, or to investigate every move your girlfriend makes, you have a serious problem.
This is usually an issue of insecurity that lies within the person doing the accusing, instead of justified distrust based upon reality.
Unless your partner has given you very valid reasons to not trust them, get a grip on your insecurities.
If you don’t, you will destroy your relationship.
Not because they wanted to, but because they figure why put forth the effort if you don’t trust them anyway.
7. Accept them for who they are.
No one wants to feel as if they aren’t good enough or that they can’t do anything right.
If you make your partner feel that way, they’re probably going to either shut down emotionally or they’re going to find someone who accepts them as they are.
There will always be things about someone that you don’t like or don’t agree with.
If there are things about them that seriously annoy you and you don’t feel you can overlook them, it may be time to move on.
But if they are minor issues, don’t fixate on them.
Differences are what make our relationships fun & exciting.
8. The fastest way to change your partner is by not trying to change them.
I realize that sounds stupid, but it’s true.
This one runs along the same lines as #7, but takes things a bit further.
If you truly want someone to change, you need to love and accept them just as they are.
State your peace, and then let it go.
If you harp on it or give the person an ultimatum if they don’t bend to your wishes, it can make the situation much worse.
A better solution?
Change your perspective. Focus on the things you love about them, and make sure they know how special they are to you.
The fastest way to make someone improve themselves is to build them up and make them feel good about who they are.
Many times, the better they feel, the more likely they will be to decide to make changes on their own.
9. Be open with your partner.
I hate it when I hear people say “I shouldn’t have to tell him how I feel. He should just know” (you can also substitute “he” here if it’s applicable).
You can’t expect your partner to be able to read your mind.
That’s completely unfair and just setting them up to fail.
Men and women don’t think alike. If you aren’t open & honest with how you feel, it’s ridiculous for you to expect your significant other to understand you.
The solution is simple.
Be direct about what’s on your mind, even when it’s difficult.
10. Remember that you can’t control someone else’s actions.
Other peoples’ behavior is one of them.
You cannot stop someone from lying, cheating, or behaving badly.
Focus on making sure that you’re doing what you should be.
If you’re treating the person well and they continue to mistreat you, sometimes the only option is to move on.
The only person’s actions we have complete control over is our own.
There are just some people who will make a decision to do the wrong things, no matter how much you love them or how much you invest in the relationship.
Relationships really are hard work, but if you’re both willing to compromise and work through the difficult times, you’ve already won half the battle.
No matter how much you’ve been hurt before, don’t live in the past.
Love is a risk that is worth taking. You may find that special someone when you least expect it.
Written By Melissa S. | Friend Melissa on Facebook | Join The Forum
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